Ups & downs
Gosh - what a week of emotions.
After Christmas, I became Cosmo’s new owner. I was so stinkin’ happy about that. The New Year looked good… then Punky became ill overnight and poof - all of a sudden my life changes.
I know many don’t understand fully how a cat (or any animal) can affect the life of a human so much - but I’m telling you - my cat was not a cat… it was like a child. Suddenly, all that joy of having a new horse just went on the back burner.
So… it’s been a hard past few days. Night time seems to be the hardest, my whole routine has changed and it’s not an easy adjustment. Crying myself to sleep isn’t fun. I have decided that I must have another cat- my home has this void and even tho my Punky won’t be gracing the floor - a cat must reside. I’m not sure when I’ll obtain another cat, but I will. I guess time will tell… I think it’ll help vs. worsen my grieving process.
I’ve never went without a cat. I had ‘Kitty Tom’ as a child, till he wandered away in his old age. Then, I had Wuss - he passed in his 20’s just a few years ago. Punkin’ came after I was on my own, she was my first cat outside of my “childhood home”.
I just wish Punky’s life would have been longer, it should have been - she was only 11. Even tho her presence isn’t here - she still is felt and spoke highly of. My 4 year old took this really hard… worse than my 9 yr old. My hubby even took this hard… This was the first animal he had ever grown close too and bonded with. I know, I know… enough of the cat talk but I will forever talk of cats if it helps me cope with my loss. Sadly, I haven’t smiled much lately… I miss laughing all the time. I think I’m doing OK though… I’ve prayed a lot. I feel more at peace now… tho not completely. I still have the what-if’s.
So, what’s going on? Nothing really. Cosmo seems to have adjusted well and has been spunky the past few days. My Winter classes start back up this month - I’m kinda not lookin’ forward to that as I’ve enjoyed the time off from school work. Today was my daughters first day with no school - I pulled her out Friday so I could work with her before she starts K in August. Report cards were today - my son continues his excellence with straight A’s - that always makes me happy. That about sums it up.
Toddles.
P.S. Thanks kindly for all the sweet comments over the past few.
January 8th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Glad you were able to get on and give us an update on where you “are”…I know it is and will still be hard in the days to come…I say take “baby steps” and hopefully you can find a new routine and a new “normal” whatever that may be!
In my prayers!
tonya
http://www.thereisaseason.net
January 8th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Thank you for taking the time to post an update. My heart is still going out to you and yours. I hope that you post more photos of Cosmo in the near future. You truly have a big heart and wish the best for you.
Hey before I forget I wanted to let you know that…
Keep smiling and realize that you have been tagged.
January 8th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Your pet is someone you actively love, you take care of them, you pet them, you comfort them, they comfort you, they know you, you know them, you nap together. They are a huge part of your life, it makes perfect sense to me that you feel the need to talk. Losing a pet is huge. People understand, at least pet owners do, and that’s most of us.
January 9th, 2007 at 3:45 am
Sorry to hear about Punkin’. I know how it feels to lose and animal that you have grown to love. Our old cat, Andie, who was 15 yrs old, left us 2 months ago. She wandered away to die. My husband says she got on the old ice berg and drifted off. I hope you get a new kittie soon, so you won’t feel so lonely. Do you still have Zoey?
January 9th, 2007 at 6:43 am
….i’m so sad to hear your loss…Another of our blogger friend loss their cat too and although I never had a pet (except 2 fishes, which eventually died) but my husband does…Punkin will always be close to your heart…take care!
January 9th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I was very sad when I lost my pet dog, Miko. He almost died when he was a puppy because of a virus but he survived it. He lived a good life. I still miss him. I think my other dog, Bruno also misses him. I’m thankful for our good memories together.
I’m sorry to hear about Punkin. I hope that the pain of losing a beloved pet will ease in time.
January 9th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Talk about her all you want! She was a big part of your life.
January 9th, 2007 at 11:00 am
I completely understand what you and your family are going through, and I thought the scrapbook page you made for her was absolutely gorgeous. No doubt she knew how much she was loved.
January 9th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Believe me, I know how much losing a cat can affect you. Coco was with me across four states and I don’t even remember how many jobs. The only female that was part of my life longer was my mother.
I was a basket case for weeks after she died.
A suggestion, for whatever it might be worth. Once you feel ready for another cat, check the local shelters, and take a look at the older, adult cats.
Good luck.
dan
January 9th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I totally believe how you can get attached to a pet/animal. BTDT - I am not looking forward to the day our Bandit will be no more…He is very old and we can expect something happening soon - he is 93 in doggy years…So, I know…
I am glad that Cosmo adjusted well to his new home :). Did your daughter not like the pre-school? I am sure your son makes you proud…
January 9th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Well you know that I completely understand. We just lost Lucy on the 30th of December even though she had been gone those 4 weeks before but we had not found her until that day!! She was the most precious sweet spirited cat that we had ever had. My hubby and I have had cats for probably 40 years and loved them all. We have had 2 special ones and Lucy was one of those two. We both cried while we buried her in our back yard. It was the hardest thing for us to do. She just did not deserve to die like she did and she was only 3. She never saw a stranger and always loved you. She slept with me and followed me all over the house. We have Simon left but he is not at all like Lucy. She was just a sweetheart. I miss her everyday and look at her pictures. I completely understand. I guess getting a new cat would be the best thing for you to do. Take care and know that we all do understand. Keep writing it will help you..Sandy
January 9th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
i’d be lost without my dog after only a year. hope things get better, giving a home to another cat when the time is right, well, i guess that’s one step.
January 10th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Speaking from experience you have to get a new one soon! A new kitty will soothe your heart and help you heal! All of you! I have been down this road several times in the past few years and it has always helped me to find a new furball to love so that I can heal from the love I lost!
January 10th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
What a beautiful horse. My condolences to your loss. We lost our cat a few years ago and it had a large effect on our family. I guess you have to be an animal lover to understand. I disagree, you can not replace an animal with a new one, just as you cannot replace a child by having another one. Give yourself time to heal and then think about getting another cat.
January 10th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
You talk about cats for as long as you like. It’s your blog, and you write about whatever makes you feel comfortable. It’s funny how writing has a soothing effect on things, it can help you come to terms with a loss.. even if it’s just to know that there are people out there who’s hearts are with you, and people that share the love of animals like you do to the extent that they too, feel your heartache and your pain.
Ohh and I LOVE your horse btw! You are sooo lucky. I often think about having another horse, and maybe one day I will. I’d love a Fresian, always have and always will.. That would be my dream horse.. hmmm oh the thought of it makes me quiver hehe :=)
Anyway J, you take care now.
Mandy x
January 12th, 2007 at 11:26 am
I think venting and talk about it is great therapy! For me, I’m excited to hear you want a new cat. In some ways, I think it means you are healing and moving on which is a good thing. But I analize things too much so who knows.